Tuesday, September 30, 2008


Well...I am merely three posts into my blog, and already controversy has erupted.
I feel the need to address my previous post, as several people (Including my mom) have brought a few problems to my attention. 

Yes...the last post was about my distaste for American film and television "actor" Michael Rappaport. Several people have noted that I have not actually watched any of Mr. Rappaport's work, and therefore would be unable to comment upon its quality (Or lack of...)

Here is the thing: First off, I am currently typing a blog. This makes it pretty obvious that I have internet access in  here (The Womb Wide Web, if you will....HA! Clearly I ended up with my father's corny sense of humor) and I am able to research news items of the day, and other such important information that I find pertinent to my growth and development.

By the way...my condolences go out to a Mr. "Dow Jones" who apparently fell down a set of almost 777 stairs yesterday. My best for a speedy recovery!

Where was I...OH! That's right...
Secondly, my father is always having conference calls with me. And by this, I mean that he leans close to mom's belly and actually talks to me. He really does this. He has given me a few life lessons (And has somehow managed to avoid cursing during them) and also talked to me about a few things that he feels are important. He does this, both because he thinks it's fun, and wants me to recognize his voice. I will definitely recognize his voice, with or without the chats, since he is awfully loud.

These are the ways that I have ended up knowing about things that you wouldn't necessarily think that a growing  fetus should know about. Please know that, in the future, I will refrain from editorializing in my blog. I will try and just keep it informative, and on topic. Every now and again, I'm sure something important will come up that I feel the need to comment on.

Like the fact that Michael Rappaport is a terrible, terrible actor.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

A Word of Note

Michael Rappaport is the most overrated actor of our time. Seriously...who decided this guy was good? He does one character...the character of "Michael Rappaport: Most overrated actor of our time" and doesn't even do that character all that well. 

Boo to Prison Break (Already a shark-jumped show if there ever was one) for allowing this man to poison what dignity it has left. I keep giving Prison Break numerous chances to win me back, because Dad has a lot invested in the Burrows brothers. (And also an understandable man-crush on Wentworth Miller)

My apologies for the shoddy picture, but I don't have photoshop in here and have to make do with the very basic of photo editing programs.

That is all.

I am stubborn. Get used to it.

So, Mom had an ultrasound on Thursday, and apparently, I have heard through the grapevine (they call it an "umbilical cord" out in the Real World) that it took me forever to turn around so they could get the appropriate pictures and measurements. Yes, I made my mom lay there for just over two hours while my dad sat in a chair staring at a screen because I did not feel like moving. Yep...I had my butt pointed at the camera for that whole time. And yep...Mom was slightly annoyed that she had to wear a weird hospital gown for no real reason except that she was in a hospital. The gown was poorly designed, and honestly useless. So...I was a bit difficult. 

Why, you may ask? Why, dear Dot, would you ever do such a thing?

Well...because I have been denied ice cream. That's why. At the advice of those around my mom, she has curtailed her ice cream intake to a level that is falling short of the standards I have set for myself. I will go on strike during any upcoming ultrasounds, until my demands for the sweet stuff are met.
Know this...I have no limits, because I do not know what limits are. That's not a threat...No one has taught me yet. Seriously. No one has taught me what limits mean. Anyone that can clue me in would be of great help to me.
However...as a show of good will...I turned around just long enough for the final measurements, and also to show my face for the first time in a long time. Here is the best pic from the Ultrasound....

Ladies and Gentlemen.... I officially have a face. By the way...many thanks to the lady doing the ultrasound for squishing my nose.  I look ridiculous.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Better Late than never....

So....a long time ago, when my My Mom (The Incubator) and My Dad (The guy who pokes me and feeds my mom ice cream to try and get me to kick) were talking about conceiving me, My Dad had discussed starting a blog for me to jot down my ideas and thoughts as they came to me....He talked about how great it would be for me to share my important, and all powerful perspective on the grand journey growing from a tiny Dot (that's how I got the nickname) to a kicking, screaming baby. Well, My Dad being the way he is, Mom is now mere months away from kicking me to the curb and he finally got around to starting my stupid blog. I find this totally unacceptable, and frankly a bit unprofessional on his part. I mean, doesn't he want me to be able to make my thoughts known? Doesn't he know that there could very well be nuggets of genius nestled in all my talk about chillin' in my womb and my fears about living in a placenta-free world?

Hm...well, greetings and salutations, people. I am currently called "The Dot" and I will have more to say very soon. Don't you fret.