Wednesday, October 29, 2008

A Trip to the Big City!

Well...a different big city anyway. Mom and Dad went on a trip to NYC
to celebrate their "BabyMoon". It had been some time since they had spent a significant amount of time in NYC, and they took the opportunity to spend their last baby-free weekend in the Big apple...

Mom got to get some work done (Since, TECHNICALLY she was there for a business trip) Dad took a Seinfeldian Trek around NYC, locating Famous Original Ray's Pizza, and the Nexus of the Universe (Both pictured here, at the bottom and top of this blog, respectivly) 

I saw (Well...HEARD...) my first Broadway musicals...Avenue Q (Which is NOT for children, though apparently OK for fetuses....festusi? Hm...neither sounds right...I have to look that up...) The Revival of  "South Pacific" which was wonderful except for about 26 minutes of an extraneous plot which was apparently exciting when the play first came out. I say, ditch it, and make this the perfect play it so longs to be. We saw the play with my Gramma Mindy who is quite a joy to have around, I must say. She fed me Barbecue near Times Square. Also something called an "Onion Loaf" is as disturbing as it sounds. 

Mom and I also took in the  comedy stylings of Mike Birbiglia...even from in here, that fella cracks me up. Check him out if you ever have the chance. He is just delightful....

They also found time to hang out with two of Dad's friends, whom he hasn't seen for ages. One in almost ten years, the other in 
almost 15!! Crazy, eh? I can' wait to have friends that I won't see for over a decade someday. 

We rounded out the trip with a visit to The World Famous Carnegie Deli which was as delicious as its reputation , the store FAO Schwarz (Which is a place that I am told I will LOVE someday...) The Hershey Store (Which I ALREADY love) 

I haven't forgotten about my other promised posts, dear readers...I have just been lazy. It has been awfully cramped in here lately. Mom's stomach is ridiculous, and doesn't seem to be getting bigger....but do not doubt me. I will find a way to make some room in here, and I will deliver my prose to you, POST HASTE!!
This weekend is a chance for my parents to take a baby CPR course to save my life, should I need it. I am, after all....the future.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Dot learned a new word today!!!

And that word is "Panic"...
A quick search on the web for the exact definition of "Panic" brought back the following: 
"An overwhelming feeling of fear and Anxiety"
(I also found "To cause a sudden fear in or fill with sudden panic..." but I find definitions that include the word they are defining within them useless, and insulting to our intelligence....)
What does the word "panic" mean to my Dad? My Dad described it thusly: 

" "Panic" is when your wife tells you the story of how her co-worker (who was also pregnant) was due to have her baby on Thanksgiving, and had the baby this past weekend."

Man...Dad is being such a baby, don't you think?

Monday, October 20, 2008

Mom's Sweet Tooth Didn't Kill Me!!

Good morning all. 

Just a quick note about some cool things from last night before I jump into the usual pontificating...

So, I had just woken up around 11:00pm (This does not bode well for Mom & Dad's current sleeping patterns, I might add) and as is usually the case, I stretched out because hey...I'm a fan of stretching out. And as I did so, I heard Dad chatting away with me from "The Outside" and instead of kicking, I pushed against Mom's stomach, and instead of him and Mom feeling a kick, he actually felt me press and run my hand down her stomach. It was an odd feeling for both Mom & Dad...and they both seemed to get a kick out of it (Even if they were a bit weirded out about it) 

Dad is still having trouble accepting that I'm a real baby, and not just an idea. I don't think he believes that I will actually be out there sooner or later, and that I'm not just a random batch of kicking and punching from "The Inside"

I'm coming, Mister!! GET READY!!

So anyways....a note on the latest doctor's appointment. My mom went in to take her glucose test. Why did she have to take the test? Well....if Mom has a high blood sugar level, then she is said to have gestational diabetes and that is bad news for me, man. Her pancreas would have to work overtime to produce insulin, but it wouldn't necessarily lower the blood glucose levels, meaning that I end up with high glucose levels, cuz I get everything she's got...yadda yadda yadda....At the end of the day, all this scientific jargon leads to a "fat" baby with possibility of breathing problems, damage to body during birth...and what does this big fat paragraph ultimately mean to me?

No more ice cream. That's right, favorite vice snatched away from me in the prime of my gestation....

What happened, though!??! SHE PASSED!! Which, more importantly means that I passed!!

All is well, I'm healthy and happy....

And we had SO much chocolate and sugar that night....we finally had ice cream a couple days later, and Mom had a Heath bar sundae from Baskin Robbins, and also had a few bites of Dad's Cookie Dough Sundae which was like heaven on Earth wrapped in marshmallow and peanut butter sauce. 

Wait a minute...are fetuses supposed to eat cookie dough?

Oh Damn.

Monday, October 13, 2008

In My Absence.

Happy Columbus Day, all!!

My apologies for being absent these past several days. (Or weeks) Things have been quite busy here in the womb, and I had no idea that I had "fans" or that people "Wanted to hear more from me." 

I have been informed otherwise, and will never let you down again. If I should disappear for any extended period of time , it is only because my parents have neglected to log me into ye olde interwebs, and left me to fend for myself with a pad and paper like some kind of commoner. Scratching my thoughts like so much drivel to be transcribed later, most likely with numerous mistakes in the transcription.

On that note, my parents were staying in a hotel this weekend, and my father thought it clever to rename the hotel's internet desktop icon to "Ye Olde Interweb" Mother saw it later, and remarked that it was quite similar to what my father called the internet.  She didn't realize, however, that he was the one who did it. We all had quite a chuckle at the situation, and enjoyed our little bit of humor. 

How quaint.  

I have been doing some traveling as of late, and I assigned a guest blogger to continue writing. I thought that I could entrust him with my much-loved fan-base, but alas he was not to be trusted. He was a man that I believed possessed the character, moxie and gumption that I thought necessary to provide my adoring public with its periodic doses of humor, information, and philosophical fodder, among other things. He was a man that I thought I could count on to make sure that the public was kept abreast of the situations that I was involved in, and really, it wouldn't have been so bad if the blog.

Let's call this man "Dad".

While I will let him off the hook this time, I believe his irresponsibility may have cost me fans, and above all, may have deprived you all of that which you hold dear: Blogs from me.

"Dad" (If that is his real name....I am skeptical, as no naming patterns I have researched have shown the name "Dad" to appear anywhere in common naming conventions. However, in my research, I have noted many people to have been named in this fashion. This leads me to be suspicious in both his motives and tactics for furthering them. Further research into Anglo-Saxon naming conventions will hopefully reveal the crucial key that I am missing)

Where was I....Oh yes...."Dad" has been summarily punished for his lapse in writing by having his apartment filled to bursting with many gifts and accoutrements for me. I feel just dreadful that Mother also is forced to climb over 216 boxes of diapers  and other various baby items to get to anything useful for adults, but she is what we like to call "Collateral Damage" in these cases. Mea culpa mater....


The most recent doctor's visit....who will I be mocking, and  calling out for denying me ice cream THIS WEEK?!?

A Halloween wedding...what did mom go as to include me in the festivities???? What was Dad's favorite costume!??!

My Mom's baby shower...what did we get? What was everyone wearing? What was Dad's deal with dropping food on himself and others AFTER someone gave him a plate and he stopped eating directly out of the food trays....

Classy, Dad...real classy.

STAY TUNED!! I'm back, ya'll!!!!!