Monday, November 10, 2008

What's in a Name?

Yeah...that's right...I'm throwing down a little Billy Shakespeare for my peeps...

Speaking of my peeps...Several of my fans have pointed out that I alternate between calling my parental units "Mom & Dad" and "Mother and Father" in my posts. I even mix  it up by sometimes going so far as to calling them "Mom and Father" or "Mother and Dad" I may even call them "Chuck and Bob"

Are Chuck and Bob my parents' names, you may ask? And rightly so you may even ask yourself...why would one decide to call two people by a bunch of random names in an effort to figure out what they would best be called. 

Well....I'm doing it because they're doing it to me! That's right. We're in the home stretch, people, and my parents have narrowed my name down to three. Their requirements were simple: It couldn't be in the top 20 for the past few years, it couldn't be on the upswing,it had to go well with the middle name, and while remaining unique, didn't get me beaten up. (Hello Apple...Hello Pilot Inspektor....OK, Pilot Inspektor is a pretty bad-ass name, I must admit.) 

Because fate works the way it does, Mom and Dad had a girl's name picked almost instantly. The name popped out and they both agreed, and it was settled.

What was actually settled was that they were then inevitably going to have a boy. Meaning that they would then have to continue the aborted discussion on boy's names which ended with "Ugh...let's just not talk about this right now."

So they have gone through about a dozen names that they both brought to the table, and even put them in an excel spreadsheet (Dad is not a geek....he's just geek-inclined. He assured me of this himself...) to be able to move them around and interchange them with different middle names. Once they got it down to just a few, Dad would actually put his hand on my mom's tummy, and ask for taps in reply to names that I liked. (Considering the fact that even I know that my taps are pretty random depending on which organ I want to lodge myself against) they abandoned this methodology fairly quickly. They may end up going into the delivery room with a few names and just seeing what I look like.

I bet I look like a wet, wrinkled infant that looks like every other wet wrinkled infant...but we'll let them keep thinking that it'll work out that way. ;)

I am also trying out an English accent in here, and believe that "Mother and Father" just sound better with the accent. If the accent works out, I may just ask to be named after Phillip Pirrip, the protagonist of Charles Dickens' semi-autobiographical novel "Great Expectations". I can then be called "Pip"...and how delightful would THAT be? I wouldn't get beaten up AT ALL!!

I have also been attempting an Irish accent, but it just sounds like a combination of Australian and Scottish. I think I'll stick with English, or if I must, North Eastern U.S....

For the record, I already know what my name is. I hope my parents guess it correctly.

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